On Starting at the End

One night, I sat down overwhelmed.

I was about to become a father — and even though I was excited, I was also scared out of my mind.

I didn’t grow up with a perfect picture of what fatherhood looks like.

So I did what I always do when I feel stuck: I opened up ChatGPT.

And I asked it this:

Here’s what it gave me:

1. "Be There—Fully It’s not just about being around; it’s about being present. Put the phone down, make eye contact, and listen. She’ll remember the little moments—bedtime stories, laughing at her silly jokes, and how you made her feel important.

2. Show Her What Love Looks Like The way you treat her mom (or any woman in your life) will shape her expectations for how she should be treated. Show kindness, patience, and respect. She’ll learn what real love looks like by watching you.

3. Let Her Be Herself She might love ballet, she might love basketball, she might love bugs—encourage whatever she gravitates toward without pushing your own expectations on her.

4. Teach Her Strength and Softness Go Together Help her be strong, but also remind her that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Let her know she doesn’t have to be perfect, and that mistakes are just part of learning.

5. Create Traditions Have little rituals that are just yours—maybe Saturday morning pancakes, a secret handshake, or a song you always sing together. These things become her anchor, her comfort.

6. Apologize When You Mess Up You will mess up. You’ll get frustrated, you’ll be too tired, you’ll say the wrong thing. When you do, show her what humility looks like. Apologize and make it right.

7. Never Stop Telling Her She’s Loved Even when she’s grown, even when she rolls her eyes as a teenager, even when life gets busy. She will never outgrow the need to hear it.

8. Hold Her Close, Until She’s Ready to Let Go There will come a day when she doesn’t run into your arms anymore, but if you’ve done it right, she’ll always know she can come back."

That response changed me. Not because it gave me “advice.” But because it gave me a vision.

It showed me what I wanted most — to be 80, sitting across from a grown daughter who still wanted to hang out with me.

Still laughing.

Still close.

And that’s the real point here:

Before you start anything hard,

Before you spiral with anxiety,

Before you overthink the next step…

Start at the end.

Ask yourself:

Then reverse-engineer your behavior to match that outcome.

That’s how you lead a team.

That’s how you build a brand.

That’s how you show up for your family.

Start at the end.

Picture it.

Then act like the person who gets there.

That’s the whole game